個人檔案Llamaramadingdong or Hom...相片部落格清單更多  |  工具 說明 |
Llamaramadingdong or Home on the Range,either way, we have high hopes!
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11月23日 Surprise, surprisei realize that for some of you folk out there this is not a surprise. but for me, once again, it was. God answered me. WOW! i was singing a song we have sung a thousand times before in church, it was "Open the eyes of my heart, Lord", and He did. just like that. and suddenly i can see Him. well, you know what i mean, He had to hide most of Himself from Moses and Elijah and the like, and i am sooo not saying that i can see more than they. but there it is, last sunday morning, i did not know what He looked like at all, just hung on to some fuzzy picture of a radiant somethingorother which i really could not become familiar with. and sunday evening... BAM, there He was. glorious, recognizable, awesome, and... well... familiar. He showed me a side of Himself that i had never, Never, NEVER, seen before, and i realized that i had been sticking all that belongs to Him onto the picture of my 'ideal' man. what i am saying is, i was wishing for a guy who would be, well, perfect, i guess. but none is. just like us gals aren't. and, very patiently, He walked me through one more lesson, and showed me that whatever i had been longing for all my life, He was, is and forever will be. i remember having a conversation with Him last saturday, asking Him why suddenly he seemed to look so much like my 'dream man', and He said "that's because I AM the most beautiful thing/person that you could ever imagine". that took a while to sink in. so, on sunday He inspired my friend to give me a book. which made it clear. all i ever wished for, dreamed about, prayed for, HE IS. and He knows me. and He loves me anyway. and He (here comes the real whammy) DELIGHTS in me. He does not just love me, He likes me. He wants to hang with me. the great I AM wants to hang out with me, little ol' me. why? God knows... <big grin> but boy, am i ever enjoying it. God revealed a side of Himself i could never see before, and BOY OH BOY did it ever change me. and BOY OH BOY did He ever challenge me not to get comfy and sit down to rest. for the first few hours it looked like i could just sit there and have fun. then He turned on another lightbulb. <sigh>, i actually gotta get up and use my newly discovered power and go blow some opposition out of the water (did you ever notice how you can suddenly develop muscle in certain situations? this is one of those...). you see, i am not only captivating, i am also a warrior princess. a warrior in pink, if you will (thanx Ford). and the craziest thing is, it's His idea. it's not me trying to be a man, or being a control freak, or whatever. He made me that way. powerful and beautiful. and here i thought it was gonna be an easy ride from now on. talk about getting a surprise... 10月16日 wish i was Isaiah sometimes...Isaiah 30:21
when you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "this is the way, walk in it."
could it be that in all this crazyness and confusion You are still getting through to me, telling me "go that way", "turn this way"...? hard to believe, and yet... 10月3日 BRING IT ON!!!bring it on
let the lightning flash
let the thunder roll
let the stormwinds blow
bring it on
let the trouble come
let the heartache fall
let it make me strong
bring it on
(S.C.Chapman, not sure i got every word right)
a few weeks ago i heard this song and i was wondering if i'd ever be able to have this much trust in God. today i find that the presence of the Lord is such a great comfort, that when the trouble comes, i am not afraid. i know there is a plan that is too big for me to see, and i know that my God is bigger still. He does not want anyone to be lost, -and while the storm does not pass me by when it hits someone close to me- He will keep me through the night. and in the morning... though the sorrow may last for the night, His joy comes in the morning!!!
there is great things ahead, folks. don't give up! 10月1日 all roads lead to Romans...wow, it's 2007...
i am alive and well today because the Lord (category: giant), who will have mercy on whom He will have mercy, has mercy on me... (category: chickenwiener...). He has not removed the problems in my life, but He has most graciously slowed down and allowed me to take hold of His hand again even though i have fallen waaayyy behind. He has explained the obvious once again (with great PATIENCE) (yes, P2, i was listening!). so, even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death (again), i fear no evil, because He is my shield and my deliverer and my very great reward. He has a plan, there is a purpose, and He will not rest until the good work He has started in me so long ago is complete.
praise the Lord, oh my soul, and rejoice! 1月5日 hya eddikayshun Blah, blabla bla blablabla bla bla bla blablablabla
Boogah snatcher sneaky gloop, snowmobile whacky wiki woo
Itchy itchy sneaky globe, really whacky foot adobe
Slimy oogah watcha whos in a pool of pink canoes
Icky icky waterhose, wibble wobble runny nose
Oogey woogey rink-a-dink, hula dancers in the sink
Holey moley woober flop, ninja cashew candy drop
Wishey washey ziggy brows, angry mob of purple cows
Squishy wishy potatoe pie, turtles flying in the sky
Iggle smiggle pickle dog, smarties floating in the bog
by: Naomi, the poet, who claims to have perpetrated it when her mind went mush
DISCLAIMER: do not, under any circumstance, judge my mental capacity by the mushyness of my children. i will accept absolutely no (NO) responsibility for their crimes committed now, in the past, or in the future, on paper, canvas, pavements or their siblings skin (or any other medium they may or may not be able to think of) 12月19日 and the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at mefor years i have struggled with this: to take my instruction from the Lord, not from man; to live up to my convictions, not theirs; to be what He wants me to be, not what i want to be. and years ago He sent a prophet to tell me that people will not understand me, but He always will. for years i have chickened out of doing what i thought He asked of me for fear of doing it wrong. one half was fear of peoples criticism, the other half was fear of arousing the disappointment of God. for years now i have been asking what my place and purpose in the Body is, and He has not told me, because He knows i am still too much like i used to be. i am still afraid of people not liking me. i am still afraid of doing it wrong. i still do not want to put in the extra effort because i will chicken out again anyway. the giant still is calling out my name and he still laughts at me. he is still reminding me of all the times i've tried before and failed. and he's still telling me time and time again that i'll never win. but my heart adores Him, the voice of Truth, who tells me a different story, him who tells me not to be afraid. it is He who tells me that this is for His glory and out of all those voices calling out to me i have decided that i will chose to listen and believe the voice of Truth. because He will not give up on me. 'nuff said.
ps: did you recognize the song?  5月10日 life happensback home i used to have a friend who always said "life is one of the hardest" (it's one of those things people make up, and as such it does not REALLY have to make sense, right?). well, having been out of touch, and trying to get back to where i belong, i have to disagree- and agree. it is hard to go back once you have been gone for a while. but it seems to me that the struggle is still worth it. just because:
THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME, THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME, THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!
who would have guessed that Judy Garland would get it right, eh? ain't got no ruby slippers that could take me there, though. did not really think it was going to be that easy anyway. but go i must. no other place compares.
please help me find my way, Lord! i know you are there even when i am not. 9月25日 so you think you are depressed...it is the darkest hour of the darkest night
you are a million miles from the morning light
can't get no sleep, don't know what to do
you've got the midnight blues!
(this is a piece of a song i only vaguely remember, and it is NOT the exact words)
have you noticed that many churches are praying for unity these days? not just among the churches either, but also among the indiviual members of each church, and between the believer and God (as in: Your will be done, Your kingdom come, not mine...)
have you also noticed that there is a lot of depression happening everywhere? from what i am told everybody, EVERYBODY has got it! the whole Body seems to be depressed.
it seems to me that this would be the perfect weapon to keep us all from uniting. depression makes you feel heavy, unable to move, sad and miserable and unworthy of anybodies attention, lonely and out of reach of God and the rest of creation. when we feel like that we do not get out much. physically and spiritually speaking. we just sit there and feel miserable. unable to even get 'up' on our knees, we can't pray, and when we do manage to pray it is almost 100% "oh God, could you just let me die", or something in that direction anyway. we are too busy with trying to get out of it to get up and praise the Lord, when praise is the one weapon that will most certainly kill the depression (at least that is my experience).
so, i am under the impression that depression is the counter-attack to our prayers for unity in the Body of Christ. we ARE not depressed. we are BEING depressed, so that we will not continue to pray for the good stuff, because depression makes us unable to move "onward, Christian soldiers". see, the only way God will not hear our prayers is if we don't pray them...
hope this helps somebody
keep praising
H
ps: even the dark can't hide you from God! 9月5日 still crazy after all these yearsa long time ago, in a country far, far away there lived a girl. she was a normal girl. a bit too tall, a bit to smarty-pantsish, not popular. this girl met a god. no, not really. she met THE GOD. and God, well, God gave her the desire to change. so she did. the end. well, not really...
please pray for me, for the teenagers in my learning centre (4 girls, 4 boys), and pray for my whole family. and while you are at it, pray for all of us, including you, to get this desire, i mean DESIRE for God. 'cause only if we have the desire to know Him more, to spend more time with Him, to eat Him, breathe Him, walk like Him, talk like Him, and die to our flesh, can we ever get to a place where unity and brotherly love will be soemwhat the norm. and only then will things be as they should be. at least in the church...
what will people think when they hear that i'm a Jesusfreak
what will people do when they find that it's true
i don't really care if they label me a Jesusfreak
there ain't no disguising the truth
(no, it's not original Sinead, it's somebodies song
 )just because i'm strange does that make me a stranger? 7月25日 1650 was a good year community. i think we all have the most horrible visions in our heads when we hear that word. i know some of you 'saw' the Waco thing in your minds just now, or something similar, where a whole gang of folks followed this guy, until he killed them all, even their kids.
that has nothing to do with community, you know. that is some goon out for power, even over the very lives and eternities of the people around him. and no, it is not how it goes every time.
the church in Acts did it. they had everything in common. and even though they did not get along famously all the time, they did not abandon the call.
it is not the idea of some guy, it has to come from THE BIG GUY. and it is not something that people can be persuaded to do. it is either in our hearts or it is not. sad to say, mostly it is not.
i get the willies when i think about having everything in common. nothing belongs to me. nothing. what about the stuff i like? what about my trees? my books? my money? my car? weeell, it boils down to this: are these things of real benefit to me if the belong to me alone? are they of benefit to others? to God? wooooooow, wait a minute! my favorite book does not really have to benefit everybody and God now, does it? i mean, there is no need to get radical now, is there? well, is there?
Jesus will spit us out of his mouth if we are lukewarm. that much we know. so we make sure we call ourselves 'on-fire' Christians. we talk the talk.
Jesus will spit us out of his mouth if we are lukewarm. so we hide our true temperature under loud singing on sundays, and being part of some committee every other week or so.
Jesus will spit us out of his mouth if we are lukewarm. so we make the coffee or wash the floor. we go to prayermeeting and to sunday service. and we make sure we carry our bibles and quote scripture.
but He is asking for more than that. he is asking that we consider others more important than ourselves every day. he is asking us to worship every day of our lives, through singing psalms, meditating on His words, acts of service to others, love and forgiveness toward those who would insult/injure/kill us and those we love. and through giving up our own ideas of how life is supposed to turn out for us. through giving up what we own/are/feel/think/say, handing it over to Him, so that He can use it for whatever he wants. that's some call, eh? i mean, share absolutely everything? phew, i am having a hard time with that, and i am all sold on the idea of a Christian commune. i can imagine how someone who is not all into it feels...
but there it is: we are the Body. we are all members. we are supposed to share everything. we are supposed to be recognized by the love we have for each other. how much love do we have for each other? enough to give Him everything we have and live the way He called us to? enough to be radically sold out to Him alone? enough to be recognized as fans? (that's short for fanatics, by the way) or would we rather stay lukewarm?
let's go and find out, shall we? we might be surprised at ourselves and others!
and let me not go bad-mouthing anyone in the process, please. (He put two rows of teeth around my tongue for a reason, i'm sure!) 7月4日 commitment is not a four letter wordfreedom is good. there, i've said it. and i will stand by it too! just be prepared to disagree with me on the definition of it, if you think you must... personally, i have freedom to stick around and finish what i started, be responsible for my choices, take the time to forgive, to heal, to think it through before i act, to love something even though i may not like it at the moment, to feel bad sometimes and then get over it, and all sorts of other things. i am free to accept the love i see in my baby's eyes. i do not have to hate myself anymore since Jesus Christ died for me. my feelings of self-loathing for not being what i thought i should be have gone up in smoke when i handed them over to Him. another choice i can make is to work at the job He has called me to, even though it seems to get harder and more expensive every year. God has called me and i am free to obey because He provides, and because my natural laziness is being cut down to size by my supernatural roomy who wants only the best for me. i am free to love my whole family even though (imagine it!) they are not perfect. my judgemental attitude has been exposed to the Light and it shrivelled up like Count Drakula in the morning sun (and a real bloodsucker it was, i can tell you!)
so what about this commitment thing now? well, i am free to do and be all i can because commitment is a big deal in my life. first my Saviour committed to go all the way for me. then He told me i had to commit and go all the way for Him. then i found out He did the same for my ex-husband, and then my ex decided to commit his life to God. then we committed our lives to each other in the sight of the One who had committed to teach us how. then we committed to stay where we live for the sake of our kids who did not deal with our instability very well. then we committed to bring our kids up in the way they should go. then we committed ourselves to learn to return to "the Way". a week ago we committed to our church/family. that's the last 8 (or so) years in a nutshell. don't see the connection between the bit about freedom and the bit about commitment? you think that when you DON'T have commitments you are free to do whatever you want?
NAAAAAAAA! not!!! wrong!!!!!
when i am not committed to Christ and all the stuff He is committed to, i am at the mercy of my feelings and desires, and that's that! feelings are hard taskmasters though. so, when i don't like my hubby, i have to leave him and find myself another one, instead of acting out love and giving my feelings a chance to follow suit. when i don't like my job, i have to quit and find another, with no consideration for the fact that God has prepared the works He wants me to do ages ago. when i don't like my friends, i get up and walk away, never thinking twice about what they might be missing because i have decided to remove something from them that God has given them. when i do not commit to God i am still committed. we will have a master, no matter what we think. refusal to commit our whole lives to the Lord, instead of just our sundays, commits us too. it commits us to serve our desires, because otherwise we can not be happy. it commits us to feel good, because feeling bad is bad. it commits us to do whatever we need to do to avoid a state of unhappiness. all for the sake of not having too many commitments... so there: don't commit and you will be committed (in more ways than one, really). by the same token: commit all, and to the right stuff, and you will be free. that's crazy, you say. sure it is. but so is having yourself nailed to a cross, when you could have called 10.000 angels to come and zip you right out of there. this is where i am free to make another choice. i chose to call that real love, that this Man laid down His life for me, his faulty friend. and for that i commit to loving Him back.
ps: freedom is not as complicated as it may sound! 6月16日 move over Arnold Schwarzenegger!so what if i have faith the size of a mustardseed? is it like a treasure, you find it, you take it home, you sit on it (to keep it safe, of course...)? naaaaa, there aren't really any treasures worth having that you can just sit on. so, what if i have faith like a mustardseed? it is no good for decoration either i hear... all together now: faith then, seems to be more like a muscle. if you want it to be strong you gotta exercise it! hence "faith without works is dead" it is no good to just sit there and believe. i can believe that God is real, but if that does not make me change my ways, where will i end up? i can believe that Jesus died for me, but if i don't want to admit the sinfulness of my desires and actions, what am i? i can believe that i am supposed to grow up into spiritual maturity, but if i refuse to fall to my knees in worship and prayer for an ever greater desire to be like Jesus, when will i bear fruit? we can not work our way into heaven, but i know that we can miss the abundant life entirely if we don't allow our faith to move us off the couch and out into all the earth, doing the works that God has prepared for us beforehand, finding the place in His body that He has assigned to us. on top of that it is my experience that if i don't act out my faith, i open doors. through these come sneeking in doubts and fear, familiar companions from another life, now unwelcome stowaways on a journey that will lead to bigger and better things. faith that does not lead to action does not see God put out his hand in support as it steps into the emptyness that is just outside the comfortzone! faith that just sits there does not rise up to see the situation from His point of view. lazy "faith" does not keep watch to see the enemy approach the walls, and it does not experience the joy and satisfaction that comes from knowing that the Lord of lords has helped it conquer an ageold stronghold full of wanna-be's and pretenders to the throne. so, exercising faith makes it stronger, and as faith bulks up, it closes doors that allow riffraff. up then, couchpotatoe, drink the living water, eat the bread of life, be fortified for the battle that is ahead, and come to know the Truth that will set you free! 6月14日 body? what body?but if we are the body why aren't His arms reaching, why aren't His hands healing, why aren't His words teaching? and if we are the body why aren't His feet going, why is His love not showing them there is a way? by: casting crowns 'nuff said... 6月10日 atombombs are not all they are cracked up to bewhen you get into a situation, you know, a SITUATION that turns out to be a CIRCUMSTANCE (the kind we are not supposed to be controlled by...), how do you react? will you stand under the mushroom cloud that blocks out all the Light and believe that it is really dark? i did. i know the voice was there, i know it said "don't just stand there, pray something!". i know there was provision made for me, long before i ever needed it. but i stood under the cloud, i let it rain on me, i believed that there was no sun (or the homophone that usually goes with it, when pastors talk about it), and I MISSED IT. i missed the view of all views, i did not see the hand of God at work because i believed my doubts. i know that i know that i know that i know that the great I AM had provided for me, BUT I MISSED IT. i spent an evening and most of the night (it's 4:05 now) wallowing in utter misery about having done something i should not have, would not have if i had just trusted God enough, when the real tragedy is that I MISSED IT. (don't get me wrong now, what i did was not ok, but God has forgiven me for it (THANK GOD!!!!!)) (so,)... i did not get to see Him work, so i was not encouraged. i did not hand it to Him, so i had to carry it myself (and fumbled the ball pretty badly, in case you did not get that point yet...). i did not listen to the still small voice, so the sound of the static gave me headaches. i did not rest in Him, so i lost sleep i really (REALLY) needed. i did not trust Him, so now i have an issue that will hang around for another 2 months (IF He is gracious enough to provide the means to rectify the situation that fast). i did not wait on Him, so now i have to wait for the next "situation", the next disaster/chance-to-see-Him-work. pray that i will take off my glasses in time then, so that i can walk by faith and not by sight. i know i'll stay dryer that way.
6月2日 idol idol ueber alleshave i suffered to the point of death, even death on the cross? obviously the answer to this one is no. and i got a sneaking suspicion that you have not either (else you would not be reading my blog, but that of, say, Elijah or Job, maybe). that one was easy... it becomes slightly more difficult when the question is about idols. do you have any, do i? you would like to say no, not me. but hold on a minute. did you think that through? did you bother to dig, deep down inside, where you usually don't like to look because the light just isn't so good there? when was the last time we watched tv, even though the commercials were downright disgusting, the show itself nothing we would want our pastor to know about? when was the last time the whole bag of chips was gone before we even noticed? or how about that guy who had the nerve to touch our car? were we nice to him? did we get mad? anything can be an idol if it becomes more important than the time you could spend with the Lord of lords, more precious than the fellowship you could have had with Him or your brothers,etc, etc. it's not just drugs, money, sex, and all that. those are just easier to recognize, they are more in-your-face-type things. but we have heard that God cares about 'little' things as well. he is a God of details. a God of worthless worms (thanx Ray) like me (no, i do not want to be smushed, thank you). he is a God who cares, and he will not give up the place in your life that belongs to him (or should belong to him , anyway). it is often easier to get the big stuff in order than it is to organize the small(ish) stuff that is not so obvious all the time. we have to pay attention. i did not think about who i was glorifying when i ate even though i was not hungry. i did not think about who i was bowing down to when i got mad instead of acting like the Chrisitian i make people think i am. but i have a God who knocked Dagon off his little pedestal, busted off his head and his hands, when they tried to stuff Him in that temple, where He was supposed to peacefully cohabitate... i've said it before, i will say it again: being aware of the presence of the Lord in our lives is not always easy (not realizing it, nor putting up with it, when we want to be somewhere quiet where noone is watching), but it is important and it is worth the effort. we will not (NOT) be able to serve two masters. not without MAJOR headaches, i can tell you... let's rather grab hold of the freedom that we can have in Him. hey, He even died for us, so what He has to give us must be worth plenty more than the gods we made for ourselves. after all, what greater love has any man than to lay down his life for his friends??? think about it... |
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faith, ooh, whahat is good for...
. if we take faith and stuff it in a drawer somewhere it dries up, shrivels, and returns to dust. and all that stuff does is give you allergies. faith MUST be exercised. imagine trying to walk by faith without ever having tried your muscles. i can just see me, pulling myself up on some tree, but because i've never exercised before - persplatt i go - flat on my face. nothing happening there in the way of "go into all the world and make disciples..."... the faith that will move the mountain is the one that does the pushing and shoving until the mountain will move (on its knees, of course, asking all the time for wisdom from God who gives generously to all who bother to ask for it!). 
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